Love.

This is the only time of year I love Washington. This city is usually so gray, and the splashes of pinks and whites and yellows everywhere just breathes new life into the city after months of nasty, gray cold.

My favorite view: The Jefferson Memorial through the flowers.

The weather is perfect, there are people from all over the world. Tourists clog the streets, to be sure, but there’s something to be said for letting yourself see the capitol of our country through the eyes of someone from across the world.

Evening.

Kind of gives me a new appreciation for this place. I make sure to see as much of it as I can so I don’t completely loathe the place.

<3

I’m tired.

I’m tired of the Establishment vs. Tea Party wars. I’m tired of Republicans still treating tea partiers like idiots for being outraged. The tea party protested Mitt. We fought his nomination. Then we rallied around him anyway, and we still lost. If you don’t get why that’s infuriating and disheartening and why people need to be angry about it, fine. Berating them is the opposite of helpful and encourages the indignation. If Republicans can’t win WITH the Tea Party, what makes you think you have a snowball’s chance in hell without us?

I spent the primary being told to shut up, you’ll fall in line anyway. I said I wouldn’t, but I did. I thought I was doing the right thing. Obama was too scary, and Mitt is a good man. What did it get me? The most bitter loss I could have imagined, because everyone actually thought we had a chance this time. Mitt was the electable one, after all. Surely the GOP brain trust had info we didn’t and Romney was really the smart choice, despite what the grassroots told them.

I’m tired of the circular firing squads (which “establishment” types are EVERY BIT as guilty of). The self-flagellation and naval gazing are inevitable, and we all need a break. I know that I, for one, am completely burned out and broken hearted. There’s no way I’m going to be effective without a recovery period.

I don’t know what it means when our everything is not good enough. It hurts when you give your life to something for four years and fail miserably. I’ve cried. Hell, I’m still crying. I’ve lost sleep. This week, I reassess. Will I still fight? I don’t know how to do anything else. I have to believe that freedom will win.

I moved to DC in 2009 in a beat up Nissan full of nothing but my clothes, slept on an air mattress for 4 months and was totally broke and miserable. Somehow I met all of you guys and things just… Worked. This network we have built, this alternative media we are creating is critical. We are having an impact and it can only grow.

A friend sent a reply to a despondent message from me last night and I want to share it.

“You are leading new generation of conservative journos/social media mavens. You planted seeds that will bear much fruit. This is bigger than one election.”

That’s all I have to offer today. We gave it our all and it was a good fight. Rest. Spend time with your families. We will pick up the torch soon.

Taken from the top of the Empire State Building in April of 2001 with a disposable camera.

I was 17 and in my high school math class. A kid interrupted the teacher and said that a plane hit the Twin Towers. My teacher, clearly not processing what he’d just said, told him to stop interrupting, we had math to do. We went about class with the questions starting to buzz in our heads. What happened? We didn’t have phones or computers to get the information from. We just sat. Waited.

It wasn’t until we left that class that we heard the story. We’d gotten out in time to watch them break the news of the plane hitting the Pentagon. I was in my drama class, and my teacher’s daughter lived in Manhattan – a casting director for Comedy Central. There wouldn’t be any more class that day.

We cried. We barely understood anything. We knew it was scary and that it was bigger than we could imagine. We didn’t know that it would change the world forever.

I have no idea what else happened that day. I think they pulled us all in to the auditorium at some point. I don’t remember. I’d been to New York for the first time that spring with the theater department. We climbed to the top of the Empire State Building in the freezing cold and wind and took photos, me with the disposable camera I’d bought off the street on my way over.

It wasn’t until years later that I found this and remembered how I’d felt standing on top of that building looking out at the most defining towers in the New York City skyline; how I’d felt watching them burn.

Never forget the families, the emergency workers, the victims. The world changed forever that day. We live in a different place now. I’ll also never forget the unity we felt after the attacks. The confidence we had in our leaders, in our country. The hope.

It almost seems unbelievable that we were ever that united, even briefly. So different from the way things are now. I pray we get there again some day. We’re better together.

We’re better free.

After a morning glued to the computer in my hotel room, I needed to get out. I grabbed some Chick Fil A and headed over to the Garden of the Gods park, just a short drive from where I stayed in Colorado Springs.

Close to where you enter the park on the Colorado Springs side.

It was an insanely sunny day, and about 90 degrees or so, but being from the south, the dry heat of Colorado isn’t nearly so oppressive. I walked around a lot and got completely covered in red dust that I have to wash off before I go to bed at some point, I suppose. Meh.

This is what I think of when I think of Garden of the Gods. It’s the image that always stays with me.

It’s a relatively short drive to go from end to end, and it goes quickly if you don’t stop a zillion times like I always feel compelled to do.

I may or may not have taken this while driving. There was no pull off for this view!

The red rocks are so bold out here. I’m positive there’s some sciency reason for the bizarre formations and the different colors, and I’m mildly curious as to what that reason is. Apparently just curious enough to Google it. Here you go, people.

I remembered a quick little hike a friend took us on back in November and decided I wanted to go back. It’s the Siamese Twins Trail and was a fast, easy hike. Well, easy if you’re used to elevation of ~7,000 ft. or so and fast if you don’t get lost and wander a mile and a half out of your way to get back to your car.

But I digress.

That’s Pike’s Peak through the “window.”

It’s a fun hike and the Siamese Twins formation is kind of awesome. I sat in the window for a while and just looked out over everything. I think I’d probably wander around this park constantly if I lived in the area. Great place for a quick escape.

I ran back by after the rally to try to catch the sunset and missed it by a few minutes, so I used the opportunity to play with the ISO on my Canon. Got a few cool shots, I think.

The clouds were awesome.

The colors were amazing. I kicked myself for not leaving 10 minutes earlier to catch the sunset.

Kind of Tim Burton-esque.

Anyway, I’m going to try to get up and do sunrise at Cheyenne Mountain State Park before work. Got a full day of meetings tomorrow, and then a drive to Montana for a Wednesday event. Crazy week!

I really do love coming out west. I could live here, I think.

Totally worth it.

It was a quick hour, and most of the ride up looked like this.

Heading to the top.

So really, you couldn’t complain. It was an easy ride and totally gorgeous. We had no idea where we were going and just drove until we saw a sign that said something about an overlook and followed it. It quickly became a dusty gravel road that was a little rough on the Nissan I’d rented. Sorry, Enterprise.

We got there a little before sunset, and it was awesome.

Grand Mesa

It got even more amazing as the sky caught on fire.

A little disappointed with the lack of clouds, but still awesome.

As the sun dropped behind the mountains, the sky changed color rapidly and we ended up with this:

Bird. Love this.

We had trouble tearing ourselves away, but I wasn’t sure what our drive back would be like, so I wanted a little bit of sunlight to start the ride. Turned out to be a useless proposition.

We left the lookout area and ended up on some nasty dirt road that my little car could totally not handle. We stopped and asked a cute boy in a truck how to get off the flipping mountain. He gave us some instructions – just go back past the building over there and turn right. He said the road off the mountain was a “little washboard-y and windy” but that he’d seen plenty of cars do it and we’d be okay.

Worst decision of the week.

As soon as we turned down, we looked at each other and panicked a little. It was a gravel road with hairpin turn after hairpin turn winding down the side of the mountain. It had also gotten really dark, really quickly. I white-knuckled it for the next 45 minutes or so, knowing that we were just feet from 300+ foot drop offs and not so much as a shrub to slow us town. The car fishtailed a little on the loose gravel and I managed to keep my cool, despite my recurring nightmares about going over cliffs in cars. Don’t ask questions, it’s a thing with me.

Anyway, we survived it. Tracy filmed the entire thing, so it’s documented. She’ll likely release just to broadcast how badass I am behind the wheel. Or that I make bad decisions.

Moral of the story: Don’t take directions from boys just because they’re cute. But it was totally worth it and we didn’t die, so score.

When I first got in, I was like, holy cow, what do people do here? I drove from the airport in my rental and was pretty underwhelmed. Then I actually went out and explored after I checked in and finished up a little work.

Thursday nights in Grand Junction, they do a farmer’s market downtown, but it’s not just food. They sell crafts, clothes, produce, and just about anything you can think of. There was live music and the street was lined with cute little shops and restaurants (including a real live record shop!). At the recommendation of the guy at the front desk of the Fairfield Inn, I went to a microbrewery and had a good little beer called the Widowmaker Wheat. Totally good and light, and perfect for the dry heat.

Before I left, I ran into a ranger from the Colorado National Monument park. She told me about this place that was roughly 10 minutes from where we were. After my lunch break the next day, I decided to go for a drive. This is what I found.

Colorado National Monument Park

Also, this.

The Coke Ovens

Also, this.

Colorado National Monument

And this.

Independence Monument

Basically, it was gorgeous. It’s desert meets the Rockies and I just fell in love with the hard red rock that jutted out everywhere.

I made my coworker come back with me after I picked her up from the airport, because obviously that was necessary.

Sunset

So awesome. It was totally worth going twice. Tons of pull offs and places to stop and take pictures. There were a lot of hikers and bikers, and there didn’t seem to be too many restrictions about where you could and couldn’t go in the park. Basically, don’t be dumb and fall off a cliff and you’re good.

I didn’t get too excited about the idea of hiking it – too hot and dry for me. I was content to drive around and walk out to the various viewing areas.

I started my second day in the city by heading into Penn Station to meet up with a friend. The plan was to go to the Empire State Building and take pictures. That was quickly derailed when I got a phone call saying that there was a shooting a few blocks away and I shouldn’t move. So, I waited for things to calm down and went to Top of the Rock to take photos there instead. That tiny black dot up by the spire? Helicopter.

From Top of the Rock, shortly after the shooting at the Empire State Building.

I called it a night early and went to a friend’s for my first Shabbat dinner. It was wonderful, and I got a chance to meet some good friends. Also, Bethany is an awesome cook and worked so hard on dinner, so it really couldn’t have been bad.

The next day, we walked up to the Cloisters. Amazing! It’s a part of the Met and it’s wayyy uptown, so most people miss it. It’s meant to look like a 15th century French castle, and is filled with architecture that Rockefeller had shipped over from France just for this project. It’s stunning. And also, it’s in the middle of a garden that makes you forget that you’re actually in Manhattan.

Fort Tryon Park. Bumblebee!

So then I got brave and decided to venture onto the subway alone for the first time. I’m obsessed. The whole neighborhood feels like a giant art project, and I couldn’t stop taking pictures of the graffiti.

Soho. <3

I wandered for hours. I didn’t want to spend a ton of money, so I just kept buying things off the street. Scarves, cheap jewelry and sunglasses. Because obviously I need more of those…. yeah. That’s what I told myself, anyway.

I fell in love with this old bank. I would love to shoot a person here some day.

The whole building looked like this. LIke a tattoo sleeve.

I think it’s beautiful. I love that they embrace it and let it live instead of trying to shut it down. It’s awesome.

Love.

Anyway, I was obsessed. I was so wrapped up in  taking photos and figuring out the subway that I don’t think I even ate. I could have spent days getting lost there.

That night, a couple friends came in to town and we went back to Times Square and found what may be the best karaoke place I’ve ever been in my life. It was called Pulse and it was small enough that everyone actually got a chance to sing, there were cute little couches to sit on, and there was a totally diverse group of singers. Perfect way to cap off my trip!

We finished the night at a kosher pizza place at like 1am and then made our way back uptown to Bethany’s.

I can safely say that I fell in love with  the city that weekend. It was the first time I “got” the whole New York thing. Can’t wait to go back!

I don’t understand it. It’s completely overwhelming and awesome. I would never live here. But it’s amazing. The Capitol of the World.

Times Square. It isn’t REALLY crooked.

The energy here is undeniable. Creativity and color and light everywhere – I totally dig it. For an ADHD kid like myself, it’s overstimulating. Which is likely why I’m awake at 2am recapping everything, despite being up at 5am and walking all day. And then walking more. But it’s totally okay because I’m pretty sure I took roughly 48739 pictures and began my mission of eating my way across the city.

I had two lunches today, not unlike a hobbit. But I didn’t eat breakfast and they weren’t FULL lunches so it’s totally legit. First lunch was at a French bistro called Saju, right off Broadway on W. 44th. It was kind of awesome. But really, how could a duck confit salad with fingerling potatoes be bad? Also, they played the Rolling Stones Paint it Black… performed by a French chick. I had to work really hard not to giggle.

Second lunch was more of a cheese and wine session. It was also awesome. Grata was the name of the place, and it was super quiet, which makes sense. Because who goes to a wine bar at 4pm on a Thursday? Apparently me. Don’t hate.

I was a little obsessed with this building.

The history and architecture juxtaposed with lights and screens and modern shopping and bustle is just fascinating to me. I was content to wander around with my camera for hours and was a little annoyed when I realized I had to stop and, you know, work. But how cool is it to be working and then run into Mickey?

YOU didn’t see this guy from your office today, did you?

I’m a little bitter that it isn’t looking like I’ll have time for a show. Even though I desperately want to go see Once. I haven’t given up the dream yet. Still two and a half days to go.

Don’t know anything about this show but this was pretty.

Meanwhile, there are cool buildings everywhere, things to photograph, and weird people to watch. Also, FroYo. Which required a field trip this evening. But really, even the empty tunnels are fun.

Kinda creepy. Kinda awesome.

On the docket for tomorrow is working in coffee shops. Interspersed with shopping. Also, more pictures.

Out of touch men should not try to address how a woman’s body reacts to rape unless they are a doctor… and I’m pretty sure that Ron Paul is the only high profile elected official that is also a gynecologist. He’s also the only one who seems to have been able to keep his mouth shut regarding Todd Akin. For this I am grateful, because I’d be highly uncomfortable with Uncle Ron discussing girly bits.

To clarify: I don’t believe that men should be silent on all things regarding women and their health. They have wives, sisters, mothers and daughters – they should be invested in their rights and their well being. Issues like abortion and birth control clearly impact the male population in a significant way.

Sometimes, however, it is prudent to not speak about something you cannot fully understand. Rape is generally one of those times. It’s pretty simple messaging: You are against rape, you support women who have been raped, and you do not differentiate between different kinds. This is abortion politics 101. Rape bad. The end. Speaking as a woman who has also been a rape victim, I do not want to hear a man who clearly has no idea what he’s talking about discussing how my body reacts in that situation. It’s not helpful. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite.

There have been many comparisons to rape gaffes from Joe Biden, etc. Fine. Joe Biden is an idiot. That’s a pretty low bar to set for a candidate, and anyone who claims to be a conservative should be better than that. This is also not an opportunity for pro-lifers to take a stand and flex their muscle. Todd Akin was not voicing a pro-life view. He was spewing nonsense and had no facts to back himself up. It was offensive. It was vile.

He should be better than this, and being utterly uneducated on such a basic issue is unacceptable at best. He needs to go.

The flip side of this is that it’s just as disgusting for Democrats to fear monger and raise money off it, to try to beat their women back into submission. Predictably, an email from Debbie Wasserman Schultz went out almost immediately following Akin’s comments, attempting to link the nonsense to Romney and Ryan.

Now, Akin’s choice of words isn’t the real issue here. The real issue is a Republican party — led by Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan — whose policies on women and their health are dangerously wrong.

Obviously, this is total BS. But she has been doubling down ever since. Another email dispatched this evening said:

Romney, Ryan and the Republican Party are showing their true colors — and just how dangerous they will be for women if they’re victorious on Election Day. We can’t let them continue to say one thing to the public while privately pushing to make it harder for women to control their own bodies.

I suppose they feel that this is a less offensive message coming from a woman. The problem with this is that it’s blatant manipulation and a completely transparent pander to women. Even more offensive than a man ignorant of the effects of rape on my body is a woman who believes that my vote can be bought with shrieking rhetoric about how Paul Ryan and Mitt Romney want to be all up in my uterus.

Do Democrats truly not believe that women care about other issues? Women have been, far and away, more impacted by this recession than any other demographic. Unemployment, the national debt, education, health care… these are all issues that directly and significantly impact women and their families. There are many women who do not vote with their uterus. It’s insulting to assume that we’re just dumb enough to be terrified into voting against our own interests. It’s how they continue to enslave the black community. And the Hispanic community. And the gay community. No group is only impacted by one issue.

Bringing Romney and Ryan into this was a cheap political ploy with absolutely no relevance. The big picture issue is that government funded birth control and abortion access do not equate women’s health care. Wal Mart sells birth control for $4, and many of us would never have an abortion. If we did, there are plenty of places that would provide that procedure. There are no plans to shut that down. Unfortunately.

Instead of trying to bully women into voting for Obama, how about taking real steps to make health care affordable? How about giving women the power to choose their health care providers, and freeing up employers to provide the best health care available for women and their families? Can we start there?

I’m tired of demeaning politicians who think they know what I need better than I do. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, you do not know my health care needs, and your shrieking doesn’t scare me. Todd Akin, you do not know how my body reacts to rape.

Shut up. Stop making my uterus a political tool. Leave me alone.

Jacksonville is a weird little place. On our way out, a co-worker referred to it as “where people go to die” – not because it wasn’t pretty or anything, but because there was an overwhelming amount of hospitals, insurance companies, assorted medical facilities, and yes, funeral homes.

The Landing was adorable, though, and we enjoyed our night at the Chicago Pizzeria. Surprisingly good pizza, and the lightning show over the river was really cool. I thoroughly enjoyed the storm from under the covered patio.

We did manage to break away from the conference on Friday and catch dinner at the Chart House, and it was delightful. Apparently it’s a chain, but it’s one I’d never been to, and after several people pointed us in that direction, we decided it was worth a shot. We weren’t disappointed –  the lobster bisque was maybe the best I’ve ever had in my life. Not exaggerating.

That was followed by a riverboat cruise with the Governor of Florida, which was really cool. We took off from the landing and spent about an hour on the boat. It was incredibly hot and sticky at the beginning but the breeze took care of that quickly – it was gorgeous.

I have a thing for bridges.

Then it got dark. And it looked even cooler.

Jacksonville from the water.

We decided to leave late the day after the conference. Obviously, Jacksonville meant that we have to plan for some beach time, right? Except it stormed. All weekend. Because why wouldn’t it rain when we’d all scheduled late flights out? Managed to salvage it though. I happen to love stormy beaches.

“We are the music makers and dreamers of dreams.”

Apparently, Jacksonville has a thing for poetry. I feel like there were random quotes from Langston Hughes and others all over the place.

The highest concentration of random poetry, however, was at the zoo. Yes, I went to the zoo. After the beach trip was a bust, I went to the zoo and wandered around. It’s a thing I do.

Flamingos and really green water.

Jacksonville’s zoo is also a botanical garden. It’s fin for a wannabe photographer.

Water lilies.

They also had a butterfly exhibit. It was cute, and I like butterflies, but they had this fairy music playing in the background and it was punctuated by little girl giggles, which just felt a little creepy, since there were like, 6 adults around and no children. Maybe that’s just me.

I don’t think I ever outgrew my butterfly phase.

They also kept landing on the ground. I may or may not have stepped on a couple. I didn’t check. The lady kept reminding me not to crush them, though. Not sure why the rocky ground was appealing, but I guess I’m not a butterfly.

These look like eyeballs.

I also got to feed a giraffe named Luna, and I fell a little in love.

Luna.

Probably not my favorite place in Florida, but it’s a cute little town and the people were ridiculously nice. Also, rain sucks when everything in the city is outdoors.